THE stench of the jungle finally reached my nose. It came as such a shock that it took several seconds to realise its significance.
My eyeballs rolled to behold the view. In a flicker of Neurons my previously incapacitated brain oriented itself to my whereabouts. The Jungle – a clearing of some magnitude. Trees, plants, black things with holes in the middle, bristling with bristles and coloured with colours.
Within me, something stirred. Lunch, I reckoned, but no, it was only my heart beating fast. Fear swept through my body, and out of my feet, as a voice, low and fearsome, rumbled through the trees.
‘Welcome, mortal, to the stench filled jungle of ACG. ’
It sounded like Terry Wogan – perhaps this is Alton Towers.
‘I am the guardian of the Jungle and its air freshener. You have been selected to carry out the task of collecting the four parts of the Amulet of ACG. If you complete the task beset you, the Amulet, cast in gold, will be awarded to the best mapper of the Jungle. ’
What do I get?’ I retorted respectfully.
The air freshener, infidel. However, I may also consider releasing you. So, morsel of Swiss Cheese, prepare to be spewed into the Jungle. ’
I did not like the idea of being spewed anywhere, but replied cordially, Thank you, Terry. '
As I was transported, or whatever, I am sure I could hear him sobbing. I can’t think why - I didn’t insult him – whoever he was.