Big Jim
(John Meeks – Colin Radcliffe – Eddie Crotty)
The Fivepenny Piece
Chorus:
Big Jim was a worm, was a great big worm,
Was a great big, bright red, bloody red worm
Large and fat, just like a picture,
Crossed with an eel and a boa constrictor
Fed him on whiskey, made him feel frisky,
Pies and a pint or two
Big Jim was a worm, was a great big worm,
Was a great big, beautiful, bloody red worm.
A famous Scottish Angling Club
arranged to hold a match
(With) five pounds offered as the prize
to him with the biggest catch.
Len Riley said, for catching fish,
good bait is what you need
And so he set to work at once
big worms to try to breed.
He fed his pets on powdered milk,
Baby food and whiskey,
And as the great day grew near,
they grew fat and frisky.
His favorite pet he called Big Jim,
He really was a picture,
He looked just like a conga eel
you’d crossed with a boa constrictor.
The day arrived, the places drawn,
and so the fishing started
It was a sin to puncture Jim
and Lee was broken hearted.
But that five pound note it must be won,
he’d promised to his daughter
And so the dirty deed was done
And Jim thrown in the water.
Some caught perch, some caught bream,
some caught rainbow trout.
Some caught eels, one caught seals,
most of them caught nowt.
But Len he waited patiently
to get a chance to work
When all at once his float did sink
and gave his rod a jerk.
Well that fight went on for hours and hours
Len couldn’t quench his thirst
But Big Jim being the worm he was,
that fish surrendered first.
At once the judge came running up
and with him brought his scales,
He saw the fish, said, Throw it back –
We’re not accepting whales!
Jon Bon Jovi
Jon Bon Jovi