RUSSIAN MAIL ORDER BRIDE ORDERED OVER THE INTERNET

A leading bank manager of one of the big four was jailed today for a total of six years, after he pleaded guilty to illegally importing a Russian bride into the country last year. The offence took place last June after the defendant, Mr Curtis, 44, said that he accidentally stumbled upon the website www.lastminutewife.com, while attempting to visit his favourite holiday site and that his curiosity had got the better of him. He said, “I was initially intrigued to find out what would happen if I actually gave my credit card details to the site, little did I know that they would actually send me my purchase.”

While handing down the sentence, the Judge, The Right Honourable Justice Pig told Curtis: “I cannot believe that in this day and age, that anyone would sink so low as to openly flaunt the law on this very contentious issue.”

The offence, which carries a maximum sentence of 25 years, was originally outlawed 5 years ago after major protests from the English Heritage Bride Society. The group complained that traditional English women were being cheated from their dream wedding because of cheap foreign imports. A commons select committee was set up after a number of leading MP’s were suspected of involvement in a plot to obtain wives by mail order.

Mr Curtis, from Leeds, West Yorkshire, was handed a lenient sentence because he had turned himself in to the local authorities a few weeks after his new wife had appeared on his doorstep in a large jiffy bag. “The first Brian knew that the transaction had actually gone through,” said one of his pals “was when the postman knocked on his door asking for the customs import tax to be paid.”

A spokesman for Mr Curtis’s Employer said, “We have ordered a full investigation into the claim that Mr Curtis may have misappropriated company or customers funds to pay for the online wedding.”

An insider for the website informed us that lastminutewife had been selling internet wives for over 7 years and that demand from the UK had surged in the last 18 months. He told us, “They fly them in, stuffed in suitcases, usually on flights from Hong Kong because the price of airmail is cheaper and delivery is much quicker.”